Sunday, September 11, 2016

The Anniversary

I had to work this morning. I didn't mention 9/11 because we all knew, and I swear the air was full of all that was left unsaid. After teaching a class, I dipped into a supermarket because I had to grab a thing or two for the company I have coming over in a bit, and I came across this headline in today's Daily News. I took a snap but left it.
I don't need to read the article.
I took another quick turn into the bagel store and saw that they were reading the names from Ground Zero on the TV screen above our heads. I ordered my bagels and left with a sigh.
It's all there. All over again. It always is and I wonder if it always will be.
I suspect it will.
And so it goes.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Settling In

This week, I can feel the melancholy settling in...the way it always does with September 11th right around the corner.
How can it possibly be fifteen years later...?

Monday, July 18, 2016

All Lives Don't Matter

I was saying this before three more Police Officers were shot and killed this weekend in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Before three other Officers were wounded, and sent to the hospital, to recover and worry about their fellow Officers.
The placaters who have been tweeting and shouting and insisting "All Lives Matter" just don't have a clue.
There is an evil that exists in this world, and although I believe that God Himself values each and every life, I certainly don't have to, nor will I hide behind such an incredibly trite statement.
A child molester's life DOES NOT MATTER.
Not one bit.
A serial killer's life DOES NOT MATTER, and he or she would certainly be better off not hiding among those of us who would like to live out our lives.
What do you say to this bunch, when a BLACK POLICE OFFICER was shot and killed over the weekend? Was he then Black, or Blue?
Did he just become a hashtag?
For all the people sitting on the sidelines: do you really have nothing better to do with your lives, then comment on something which you know absolutely nothing about...?
Leave it to us: the Police Families, who sit home and worry, who text and wait. Leave it to us to tell you the truth:

Monday, July 11, 2016

Suddenly a Veteran

I remember right before I had my son, I was out one night walking my dog, and ran into a neighbor I knew in passing. It was just a few weeks before I had my baby, and everyone was offering advice, or commenting, or perhaps just reminiscing.
Her words to me were: "Ah, I remember those days so well. The days are long, but the years are short."
I thought about what she said but of course found that I didn't fully understand her until I had one of those incredibly long days: a teething, crying, blubbering mess of a day.
And that was just me.

This weekend I thought a lot about being a Cop's Wife. I thought about how far I've come. Due to the awful events that just occurred around the country, I've become a hot property, and everyone has been asking my advice. They want my take on the assassination of the Dallas Officers, and some even want my take on the shootings of the civilians that preceded them. I am sifting through requests to speak as well as answering emails and commenting when I can.

I am being as honest as I can be; I am continuing to be me, and in the midst of all the exchanges, something very profound occurred to me: I am now a Veteran Cop's Wife. I've been at this almost a decade. I am no longer Suddenly a Cop's Wife. I now have the younger generation, the new wives, the fiancees...the significant others that are new to this precarious lifestyle...looking to me, to answer their questions and allay their fears.

Here's what I can say: there will be long days, and nights, and shifts that feel as if they are never-ending. But the years (in retrospect) are short.
You will get through this; this time of uncertainty, of difficulty, of fear...of feeling as if the whole world is against you, or that no one seems to understand.

You will turn around and you will find yourself suddenly like me. It never gets "easier," but it evens out, and you learn how to manage your energy, for there is only so much time that you can sit home and wring your hands.

You are his/her partner for a reason. Obviously God thought you could handle it.
So know that it won't always be this way. And as the days shuffle by into years, know that there are women just like me, standing right by your side.
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