Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Christening II

So I ended up calling my aunt and telling her about Roc's schedule. She must have been preoccupied, because her original response was, "Oh, he should be there in time." I tried to explain to her that if he did get out anywhere near the time they told him, that he would definitely miss the church. She said she didn't expect us to be at the church, just the party afterward.
Okay. That gave me a little more time, but we still had to pack Roc's car with a full change of clothes the night before that Sunday. His goal was to get out as soon as possible, shower and change real quick into his suit at the precinct, and meet me at the party ASAP. We would keep in touch via text.
Not a great situation, but at least bearable, or so I thought. Roc left at an ungodly hour, and I slept as late as I could, then got up and got ready for the event. I had on an outfit I loved with flat shoes I hated.
Totally off-topic: You can't imagine how difficult it is to come back from an injury when you're extremely active. My knee surgery had affected my entire life---keep in mind I'm a fitness instructor---and I can remember quite vividly being totally bummed at this juncture. I still had some stiffness and pain, and I felt almost like it would never end.
Plus it was FREEZING out that day! I remember hoping that Roc had piled on the layers as I made my way to the Christening. The event was a gala affair; I got to see relatives that I usually only see for weddings and funerals. About halfway through the cocktail hour, my aunt stormed up to me and said, "Where the hell is Rocco?"
Huh? Didn't we discuss this?
I was shocked for a second, then carefully reminded her that he was still at the Marathon and would arrive as soon as humanly possible.
"Well, I paid for his dinner!" She replied venomously.
"Well, I think the check will cover it." I shot back, indicating the gift check I had placed in the envelope for her child.
She stormed off and basically ignored me for the rest of the day. Sure, she was preoccupied with other guests and such, but the truth of the matter is that I was super-pissed. What didn't she get?! I had told her in advance of the situation; did she think I was exaggerating? Perhaps she was afraid of how it would look to the other relatives. Who cared?
All I know is that I was upset and hurt. Instead of feeling bad for me, or saying, "Where is he? We miss having him here..." she took it personally and took it out on me. Trust me: there was no one who wanted him there more than me.


  1. I believe it's hard, if not impossible, for people not in the law enforcement or military community to fully grasp the concept that it is a role that is needed 24/7, and what that means for the individuals filling those rols. As evidence, ask Roc how many marathon runners personally thanked him for his presence there that day. I'd be willing to guess he can count them on one hand. Out of how many thousands?

    Your aunt expected Roc there. But I'm sure she'd expect a cop to show up no matter when she dialed 911 too. I don't get why it's hard for people to mentally bridge those two needs and realize the conflict.

  2. Hey SC:
    Very valid point. I keep going back to the point that if I had married a cop...maybe there would be a little more understanding...but everyone in our family feels as if this was a choice of his---one he didn't have to make---so they feel justified in their anger, and that just leaves me seething.
    I think it falls under the heading of "It is what it is."
    :) SCW Stella


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