The Wedding IV

Once we got in the air, I tried to focus on a book, the tiny TV screen installed in the seat in front of me...anything to not look at the clock.

Did you ever have a night when you can't fall asleep for anything, and you know you have to get up in the morning, and you just can't shut your mind off? Eventually you start playing this game in your head: If I fall asleep right now, I'll be able to get five hours of sleep. I can deal with five hours. About an hour later, you shift your gaze from the ceiling to your alarm clock, and tell yourself...if I fall asleep right this instant, I can still get four hours and twelve minutes of sleep...I can handle that...and eventually the math problems that are floating around your brain end up fading into something resembling sleep...but there's nothing you can do, and it sucks.

That's exactly how I felt on that plane. I started playing the Math Game: If we land at...blah-blah...how long would it take to grab the rental car, drive to the resort, throw on the dress...run to the...ooops, no running still...the knee was still talking to me, so I could only factor in a fast-paced trot...my make-up was packed, otherwise I could have been doing that on the plane...UGH...UGH...UGH!

Of course, my mind wandered to the fact that I could have left the night before and met Roc down there...OR...he could have gotten another day off, and we could have left on Friday with the rest of the group...OR...we could have a normal life, and not have had to deal with any of this crap.

Deep down, I knew that I was being a tad bit irrational. I mean, let's face it: the weather and the detour to another airport were all out of our hands. As far as I knew, the NYPD had nothing to do with that. I get that, and I got it that day. I was simply growing weary of living life on the fly. One of my best friends of many years was getting married to a lovely girl, and I was about to miss his most important day.
There wasn't much more to say that could bring me any sort of comfort, and my frustration level was so high I felt about ready to explode.