I had not been directly affected by a suicide up until this point in my life. Sure, I knew people who had committed suicide, but they were always a friend of a friend of a friend, or someone famous in the media. I always remember feeling some sadness hearing about it, and then a sense of wonder: I wonder what made them feel as if they just could not go on?
Either way, suicide was something that happened to other people.
Now I was faced with the stark reality that someone I loved had taken their own life. I was shocked and saddened by it, and I found myself immediately trying to remember the last time I had seen Sal or spoken to him...we were the type of cousins that saw each other more often than just weddings and funerals, but we also didn't live near enough to each other to see each other on a weekly basis.I had a barrage of thoughts and images flooding my mind and I can still remember crying my eyes out that entire night.
Roc was sad too, and surprised, as all of his interactions with Sal had been good ones. At the time that Sal took his own life, he had a wife and three small children.
That night, I said prayers for them, for my other cousins, and for all of us that would feel his inconceivable loss. The next morning I started making the rounds of phone calls.