Unless and Until

As we embark on this truly dangerous time in our City, I find myself getting livid when I see the various armchair quarterbacks commenting on the news, on social media, and even in casual conversation about what the police should do.
Never before has a profession had so many sideline experts shouting at them for the way they handle themselves; never has a noble profession been so reviled.
I AM DONE.
And here's my warning: UNLESS AND UNTIL YOU ARE WILLING TO GO OUT, STRAP ON THAT BULLET-PROOF VEST, SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR FAMILY ONLY TO NOT BE SURE OF A SAFE OR SWIFT RETURN, TO SERVE THOSE WHO DO NOT APPRECIATE YOU...TO ENCOUNTER DANGER...TO NOT HAVE THE SUPPORT OF YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS...TO SLEEP ON A COT/ON THE FLOOR/IN A CHAIR...TO BE AFRAID...TO SWEAT IN 40 LBS OF GEAR...TO NOT KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO EAT A MEAL AGAIN...TO CHOKE DOWN A MEAL WHILE STANDING AND LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER...UNLESS AND UNTIL YOU ARE WILLING TO DO ALL THAT AND MORE THE TIME HAS COME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I watched my husband pack five days of clothes last night; I had to wake my son up to take him to the train at 4am, then try and get him back to sleep, not understanding why Daddy has to go in at that time (the trains are not running around the clock as they were pre-quarantine) not knowing the danger that lurks in the corners of our once beloved City.
My City in ruins.
As far as useless Bill de Blah Blah goes: my wish for him cannot be written here, as it derives from the blackest corner of my heart.
As far as friends and family go: unless and until...please don't say a word.
I'm shouting in the above, and I'm screaming inside. Right now is the time for support or silence.
That is all.