Friday, November 26, 2010

It's ON!



Much like my five-year-old self, I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade yesterday with anticipation and downright glee. When I was younger, the arrival of Santa Claus at the end meant that CHRISTMAS had begun! I can still vividly remember whipping myself into a frenzy---practically hyperventilating---at the mere sight of the Big Guy in the red suit. I would jump up and down and point and yell at the TV: "Nanny Naws!! It's NANNY NAWS!!" My grandmother would laugh at me, and from then on all I had to do was be good and wait.
Oh, the waiting!
Seeing Santa yesterday lent me to that same spark of emotion, but as an adult, there's a lot more to do than just wait. There's buying and wrapping, cooking and baking...this year there's also some muddling through...Christmas will be different, a very important piece of my life removed, an important person no longer at the table.
My grandmother is ailing terribly, and although I tried to call her yesterday and inform her that Santa had arrived, I don't think she got it.
Unfortunately, it will never be the same.
But I took it a breath at a time. I allowed myself that tiny thrill at the culmination of the parade, and I wrapped myself up in the memories.

2 comments:

  1. Having recently experienced the loss of a grandmother, I understand the void. I wish for her recovery, but understanding that her time may be near, I wish her peace and comfort.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks as always for the kind words.
    SCW Stella

    ReplyDelete

 
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