The Crazy Lieutenant

There's a dirty little secret in the NYPD and it's called COMPSTAT.
Okay, it's probably not a secret, as it's listed on Wikipedia, and anyone who knows anything about Law Enforcement knows that they have these sort of programs, but it's still not something the NYPD likes to broadcast to the general public.

Because it basically means that they're looking for shit.

The politicians put pressure on the police brass, who in turn put pressure on the department's middle management, and so on and so forth down the line. The goal is to lower crime and increase arrests.

Depending on the Lieutenant in charge, COMPSTAT can be the focus of the evening, or not...and this little ditty is all about the Crazy Lt. who was a little too focused about bringing in the numbers.

It's a run-of-the-mill night when Roc gets chosen to drive the Crazy Lt. They start off doing some car stops, and then Roc pulls someone over for a cell phone violation. The woman has a valid PBA card, and offers it to Roc, but the C.L. insists that he write her a ticket anyway.

Obviously, PBA cards are not "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards---but a cell phone violation? Roc was genuinely embarrassed to have to write the ticket. He explained to the woman that his C.L. was forcing him to write her.

After all, it's a "number."

Then they come across a man who is changing his battery in front of an auto parts store, and the C. L. forces Roc to write him a ticket for being a "Street Mechanic," which is apparently against the law in New York City. The man complained bitterly, and Rocco felt genuinely bad to have to write him a ticket when the guy was obviously not taking customers or running a business...but the best was yet to come.

As Roc returned to C.L. and the car, C.L. says, "Did you write him for the pump?"

Roc turned around to see this guy's car partially blocking a fire hydrant.

The C.L. stood there with his arms crossed, waiting for Rocco to do the deed.

After writing the guy another ticket, Roc said he couldn't wait to get done with the night. Sometimes, the "number" just isn't worth it.