Monday, April 18, 2011


One of my favorite funny movies EVER is Better Off Dead.
This movie came out in 1985, and quickly became a "cult classic" among people of a certain age. If you've never seen it, it's a laugh-out-loud comedy with a romantic twist thrown in amidst the hilarity. One repeated scene involves a homicidal paperboy who continually chases down John Cusack's character, screaming: "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!"

If you've never seen it, you need to rent it. Now. Stop what you're doing and go order it off of Netflix, or better yet...borrow it off of a friend that grew up in the 80's. If they don't know of it, you shouldn't be friends with them!

I're wondering...What on Earth could Better Off Dead have to do with my status as a wife of an NYPD Officer?

WELL! I have been waiting almost five years to tell this particular story.

Let's go back to our trip...I came back from California sick as hell. Of course, riding the germ tube (plane) across the country never helped anyone...hence, I ended up needing a prescription upon return.

Now, at the initial NYPD Orientation and Family Day RAH-RAH's, I distinctly remember a female officer extolling the virtues of the NYPD benefit plan. She repeatedly shouted about the TWO DOLLAR PRESCRIPTIONS that we would receive as members of the NYPD Plan. It was almost like a religious experience: PRESCRIPTIONS...TWO DOLLARS!!

I have often felt like the deranged paper boy in Better Off Dead...I would rush to the pharmacy, offer up a fistful of dollars, and wonder why-oh-why I never hit the two dollar jackpot...only to run screaming to my vehicle: I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!! Never once in the past five years have I paid two dollars for any prescription---generic or otherwise. Maybe I had just had bad luck. Or maybe...there weren't any two dollar prescriptions. Perhaps there was just ONE in the whole world, and I never ordered that particular one.

Until...Friday! I went to the local drugstore to pick up the needed prescription, and when the fifteen-year-old kid behind the counter said, "One ninety-nine..." I almost thought for a split second that he meant two hundred dollars.

I looked up and saw the decimal point directly after the one.



  1. Awesome!

    Better Off Dead is one of my most favorite movies. It came out when I was 5 and since I am the youngest of 6 kids I was exposed to it and a plethora of other cult classics at a very young age. We quote it all the time. I usually randomly say outloud to HF, "so you're Al meyer's kid huh? you look pretty stupid to me."

  2. Okay, I won't tell you how old I was when it came out, but let's just say OLDER.

    One of my faves:
    "Ricky, I'm sorry your Mom blew up."

    :) SCW Stella


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