Monday, September 10, 2012


I have a feeling of disconnection going on today; I'm tired, but not. I feel hopeful, but at the same time there is a thin layer of malaise covering every thing I do...I cannot shake it off just yet, but I am smart enough to not ignore it.
Could it be the Anniversary?
I can remember last month feeling out of sorts for a day or two---perhaps even a week---and my husband pointing out to me, oh-so-matter-of-factly, that I was depressed.
"Depressed?!" I railed against the notion. Why would I be depressed? Summer is by far my favorite season. Depression is for Winter, finding its place on those long, snowy nights, wrapped up in a thousand blankets and the strange belief that Spring will never come again. Then my always astute other half reminded me that August was now laden with losses for me: the day my Stepmother died. The very next day marks my Grandmother's passing as well. An Aunt thrown into the mix, and who was I to expect to escape the long reach of the calendar?
I mulled it over. Did it make sense to me that just because it was "that time of year again," that I was to be steeped in some inert sadness? Did the specific date on the calendar mean that I missed my Step or Grandmother more than usual? Could I sense something inexplicable, such as their Spirit calling out to my own?
I'm not sure what I believe about such things; I just know that these past few days I have felt saddened all over again by the losses we sustained on September 11, 2001.
Could it be the Anniversary?


  1. How weird, I usually get depressed come September too. I always figured it was after a summer of spending time with friends & family, everyone goes back to work & school & I'm left holding down the fort on my own. So far I'm doing ok, but it's only the first full week of school here, I'm seeing my mom this weekend, my daughters are loving school & I've thrown myself into PTA & exercising. Eh, we'll see.

  2. I've heard it said that "September is the other January."
    And it resonates with me...
    XO Stella


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