Although I do not want to spend a lot of time rehashing and revisiting my parent's very contentious Divorce, I do feel the need to talk about the difference between Divorce today and back then; and the effect that it all had on my mind, my heart, my psyche.
Today, divorced parents will make arrangements via cell phone or text to have a quaint little (or big) celebration for Little Joey's Birthday Party, and both sides of the equation will show up and act like respectful adults. Mommy will show up with New Boyfriend and Dad might have New Wife on the arm, but the child will find both sets of Grandparents present, and often times, the whole entire evening goes off without a hitch. Plans are made; Little Joey is well-adjusted, and the Divorcees are doing something that we now refer to as "co-parenting."
That did not happen in my life. Not even close.
My experience went a little more like this: there would be fights over every single Holiday. Who got me on ACTUAL Arbor Day and then who got me the Day After for ARBOR DAY II? From the moment my parents decided on Divorce, I had two Birthdays, two Christmases, two Easters...you get the picture. In fact, I can tell you for sure that the first time my parents were in the same room together for an event was my Wedding Day. I can very clearly remember sitting each of them down and making it known that I would not tolerate any shenanigans, and that I would not be having two weddings so to please try as hard as humanly possible to act like adults for one night.
I can remember like it was yesterday the feeling of being pushed and pulled and that even worse feeling of being torn between two people that I loved. I can remember thinking that I never wanted to get married if that was what it was going to end up like; and I certainly didn't want to have any kids. Not if being a kid felt like this...why would I want to do that to someone I loved?