Monday, January 10, 2011

Ask; Please Tell

I was in the city one day last week and I was talking to a member of the NYPD. (Not my husband) We were talking about the blog, and he said:
"I think that's cool. I think it's especially cool that he tells you all this crap. A lot of guys don't tell their wives what goes on out here."

I know that. I know that this blog would take on a different flavor if Roc kept it all bottled up inside; there would be shades of gray, and a lot more fiction. A lot of these stories would not be fully realized if he didn't come home and tell me what was going on 'on the job.'

Of course, I weasel it out of him. I need to know how his day went; so much of his life is spent without me, in a place I'm not familiar with; with people I've never met.
When he unloads his stories, I feel a point of connection there, and I am grateful that there's a moment when I feel like I have a clue.

Even if it's more imagined than real...I'm sure there's a fistful of tales that are sanitized "for the wife"...but I also know that I'm going to keep asking, and hopefully he'll keep telling.


  1. We (cops) tend to be better at narrating than emoting. Hopefully you can weasel both out of him.

  2. Keep asking it's so important! Those connections are great. I really got a clear perspective when I got to ride along with my cop. Lt commented the truth just now. Keep weaseling and hopefully he'll keep telling. My guy likes to write and hopes to put out some fiction books. Also he's learned what not to share with me. I faint at the details of blood everywhere Oh my!

  3. I'm sure I am sometimes a big PIA, but I've realized one thing: this Police Wife Life is a fragile thing...I can very easily let the space develop between us...allow the drifting to begin...look up a few days, weeks, or months later and wonder how we got there...or I can insist that there is a moment in time where I am in his head space and he is in mine...and although that's usually a ton of WORK, I'm not afraid of hard work.


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