Wednesday, April 20, 2011

To Ring or Not to Ring?

That is the question!
I was training a client this morning and for whatever reason we were talking about wedding rings. I don't wear my wedding ring at work---ever---and since I work mostly Monday through Friday, I pretty much only wear mine on weekends.

Rocco has never worn his wedding ring to work with the NYPD. He wears it every other time he is home, working at the family business, or otherwise.

Our reasons are similar on one end. It's a safety thing. I learned early on that free weights banging against and scratching my engagement ring was not a smart move; plus I was literally scared that one day it would fall off or I would lose it, hence my half of the decision. He was told by Lt. Mo as well as others that a wedding band can be a safety hazard in SoB: unlike highway patrol, he is often having to jump over a fence, run down an alley, or do some other form of urban policing that can get his finger stuck.

We've discussed it and have decided together that we'd rather be safe than sorry.

The interesting thing is that he has another reason as well: he doesn't want the perps to know anything about him.

I concur. I think it's bad enough in an Internet age that he has his last name on his uniform. I think the NYPD needs to change this policy going forward. One night, he was doing prisoner transports and he had a particular character that found it fun to chant his last name repeatedly.

Back in the old days, I think that was when they used to hit 'em with the phone book!

So...what say you? Is hubby wearing the ring on patrol? Or not? And, does it bother you if he doesn't? I'd love to hear different opinions about this issue. Feel free to comment...I always hit you back if I can.


  1. Mine hasn't worn one since he jumped off a helicopter and it had to be cut out of the flesh on his finger. That was um... 22 years ago? Then as a patrol officer, didn't want any P.O.S. to know anything about him. It's only now as a detective that we just bought him a ring!!! Two weeks ago in fact... the impetus being our adult daughter saying "nobody knows you're married" after seeing us a community event and her friend (who'd met her dad earlier in the day) said "look at your dad flirting with that lady." She replied, "Um... that's my mom." Since neither of us wear a ring, her friend had no idea we were married. Time to fix that I suppose ;)

  2. JR wears his band. He likes it cause it helps keep the women away, not that he is having to bat them off with a stick, but I think its also a reminder to him. Don't go for the hamburger when you have the steak at home.

    On the flip side I totally understand Rocco not wearing his as well as you. My father has been faithful to my mother every day for the last 33 years and he has hardly never worn his wedding band. It was a safety issue for him as well being a farmer and working with his hands.

    I think it is a personal choice. You don't need to wear a ring to be in a committed marital relationship. Its a symbol.

    I've heard of a few coupls that have gotten "wedding band" tatoos.

    What do you think of that?

  3. I think the wedding band tattoos are kind of cool, but since I am a BIG pain wimp...not for me! My opinion about the Ring Thing is that if someone is going to cheat...then they're going to cheat; ring or no ring.

    I will say I love the idea that whenever we do get dressed to go out, we find that we both automatically put on our rings without consulting each other...and it's nice sometimes to hold hands across a table, and see that symbol right in front of our faces.


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