Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Police Families

I am not part of what you might call a "police family." My husband is the only person on either side of my family who is a cop. He has one cousin on his side who is a cop, but he's a wedding and funeral type of cousin, so we have not seen him in a good couple of years.
The other day I met someone who relayed the following information to me in the course of a conversation: "My father was a cop. My uncle was a cop. My sister just got engaged to a cop. I've got cousins who are cops...etc." You get the picture.
The good news is: she gets it. I didn't have to explain much.
The bad news is: my family does not get it. Still. Roc has been a cop for years now, and I will still repeatedly have family members call me up and say bubbly things like, "Happy Anniversary! So what are you two going to do for your anniversary...?" They say this with excitement in their voice, and somehow, it always makes me feel like the bad guy to burst their proverbial bubble and remind them (sometimes gently, sometimes not) that HE DOESN'T HAVE OFF ON OUR ANNIVERSARY. THE NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT HE HAS OFF IS THREE WEEKS FROM NOW AND WE WILL BE CELEBRATING OUR ANNIVERSARY THEN!
The reply usually goes a little something like this: "Oh."
And then I end up frustrated.
So for those of you who are reading out there today, tell me: are you part of a Police Family? Got a little Blue Bloods action going on in your neck of the woods? Or are you more like me...surrounded by well-meaning people who just don't get it?


  1. I just found your blog and read almost every entry. Like you I suddenly became a cop wife when my husband said now or never and it is what he always wanted to be. The two hardest parts for me are the schedule and our families (mostly his) who just don't get the schedule no matter how many times we (I) explain (and he has a set schedule for the entire year, except for the massive amounts of overtime he loves to work!). I am a teacher and he works weekends. I didn't think at this point in our marriage (17 years) we would still be working opposite shifts (we already did it for 8 years when our boys were little, pre cop years, so he would be home w them during the week). I thought we were over it! Counseling has helped a lot but many weekends (and week days if overtime) are still so hard on me. I never expected to be so lonely. I am so happy he has a job that he loves as much as I love mine but I miss my husband and all the things we used to do when we had the same days off! Thanks for reading my brief melt down! Tomorrow his mom comes over for dinner, but you $50 in the first 10 min she asks, "when do you work????" aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

  2. Sorry, bet you $50 not but you! My husband became a cop at age 36. We are now both 41.

  3. My family complains when I work holidays. I volunteer for them because I have no small children at home. I would never have understood if I wasn't an officer now because like you I am not part of a cop family.

    I stopped by today to say congratulations on being the #1 cop blog 1012 and for winning the $200.00 for your charity. You go girl!

  4. Hey BadLuck:
    Thanks so much! I am getting in very late, and just heard the news, so I am happy to hear it and grateful for your kindness.
    You rock too, BTW.

    And love2read:
    That's why this Blog thing is so important to me...it enables me to feel less alone and I can check myself and see that no, I am not crazy...! Thanks so much for reading! Also, I think my MIL thinks that I sit around all day and eat bon-bons while he's off working...at this point, I give up!!

    :) SCW Stella

  5. Congrats on winning top cop blog!I read about it on the Boogie Man is my Friends' blog.
    I do have a cousin who is also a Officer,and even though he and my husband work for the same county they work for different departments,have totally different schedules so we rarely get to see him or his family.It would be nice to have someone close that understands their crazy schedules and how and why we(wives)also have to change our schedules to make
    things work. I am glad for all the police wife groups on fb,twitter and bloggers I have found on the web who TOTALLY
    get it!

  6. My dad is a retired cop who retired as Chief of Police (different agency than mine). My little brother is a cop. My little sister isn't a cop, but she has her doctorate in forensic psychology and works with sexual offenders. And of course, I'm a cop. If my influence means anything, neither of my kids will follow in the family footsteps. :)

  7. Monica!
    I agree...these communities we've created have become so important, and I am grateful.

    Did you ever think it's in the blood?

    SCW Stella


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