So how do you unravel the very long thread that winds throughout your life and represents the person you've become? Can you really explain to anyone why you feel the way you do about certain things and what helped to shape those thoughts? It's never any one little thing, and sometimes it's incredibly hard to find the right words to articulate how you came to be the way you are at the end of that rope.
I'll start with this: I am a child of Divorce. Nowadays, it means much less than it did back then, but keep in mind my age: I am 41 years old, and in the Seventies, Divorce was still rare, at least in my neighborhood. I was the unofficial outcast; the only one who had parents who didn't live in the same house. It was painful, and the way my parents handled themselves contributed to that...I realize now that they were too young to know better...but try telling that to my seven year-old heart.
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I've seen some marital problems in my family that drastically shaped who I turned out to be, how I handled relationships and even how I behave as a wife. I struggle with some personal things, almost on a daily basis and I have to make a conscious decision to do little things that other people take for granted...like simply trusting my husband. And we've talked about it, he knows, but I still think people would like to pinpoint the "one little thing" that triggers these emotions. If only it was that simple...life is complex and even ugly at times, I admire you for being brave enough to put it into words...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the vote of confidence...if there's one thing I've learned on this very complex journey so far is that there is a lot more gray than I ever thought there was...I'm the sort of person who sees things in black and white, and now...well...stay tuned.
ReplyDelete:) Stella