I sat there in stunned silence.
"What do you mean?"
She's grinning now, but she's also blurring...I can't see her, and I can't breathe.
"No, I'm not." I am adamant about this. I start ripping through my bag, looking for the sheet of paper I had written on, the one with the dates of my cycle, figuring she would need that information before we proceeded with the birth control.
"Well..." She's nodding.
I am crying and shaking and I refuse to believe her. I look at her as if she is insane. "It's just not possible." Without going into too many gory details, I proceed to tell her precisely why it is not possible: how I took my last pregnancy test on Christmas Eve, and how it was negative...how I had gotten my period since then...how none of this makes sense...
She tells me she will do another test if I would like, but that she's one hundred percent sure, and that she now needs me to go for a sonogram in order to see just how pregnant I am.
I can't talk. I'm crying, big, fat, silent tears steaming down my face.
This can't be happening. This is not really real. This is...a prank of some sort, right? Because I had just settled my mind and my spirit and I was totally at peace for the first time in years.