As the calendar made its final push towards the end of 2012, nothing else happened, and I spent a lot of time pondering just how I felt about that. A part of me was relieved; there would be no marathon of pregnancy in my future, I wouldn't have to deal with the Mommy Club, and I could travel as much as I wanted, unhindered, and happy.
There was freedom in not having a child, and I fully embraced that, even though a part of me was still unsure. I thought about things like never having a child...and how that would feel as I aged. I talked to a woman at that time who confessed that her deepest regret was never having had a child.
I told myself I had tried, and the best thing about that was that I would never look back and wonder. Towards the end of the year, I turned 41. It seemed like a strange sort of milestone.