Friday, July 12, 2013

Waiting for the Call

Just like anyone else who is "waiting for the call," you have an idea what I was going through the week after I took the First Trimester Screening. I think it's safe to say I was pretty much a wreck.
The "What Ifs" that were crowding my mind led me to a whole lot of tears in the car and a few marathon walks with the dog. I had determined in my heart that if the tests came back bad, I was out. No if, ands, or buts about it. In the midst of my hysteria, I called a friend in Massachusetts and told her that I was waiting for the results.
"Oh, Stella..." She hesitated. "Having been through this twice, I don't know how to tell you this..."
"What?" I felt a new level of anxiety creeping up my neck.
"It's not what you think. They don't just call you up and tell you that everything is one hundred percent okay. They give you...percentages...and then you have to determine your decision from there." She went on to explain that the test results would sound a little something like this: there's a 1 in 30 chance that your child will have Down's Syndrome. Or a one in 10,000.
Or whatever. But there was going to be no clean and clear; there would still have to be a decision made on my end. Having been beleaguered by my old friend's obsession with all things baby, I had learned to tune them out whenever they spoke in percentages or percentiles. This...was news to me.
Like everything else, I thought it would be easier.

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